


revenge and reassurance

by calebwidogast



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, post character death and resurrection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27220699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calebwidogast/pseuds/calebwidogast
Summary: the battle on the ocean ends. then it's quiet.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	revenge and reassurance

**Author's Note:**

> so this was written between 98 and 99 airing, which means its outdated and not Quite accurate, but it was soft and i had fun writing it. it has visuals of fjord dying but, thats it really?
> 
> edit: hey gang, i am keeping this up for archival purposes since it was written before it was revealed by tal on twitter that cad is offically aro! i think it's great, and i love the rep for aro people bc i know exactly how him being confirmed ace felt! this fic is not meant to ignore his identity, i know he's a wonderful aroace man and i love him so much.

he didn’t see the point in revenge, he’d said.

that was before this fight- before he struggled his way above deck just to watch fjord struck dead, when even as he tried to prevent it he knew there was nothing he could do.

what he could do, he realised, was try his hardest to make sure everything that had laid a hand on fjord tonight, on his friends tonight, would pay for it. he stood over fjord as insects swarmed and blight shriveled and the battle ended, and one moment he was standing and the next he was kneeling at fjord’s side, praying, casting revivify, begging the wildmother for aid, to bring back fjord, because fjord  _ wasn’t _ done yet.

the rain covered his panicked tears well enough, and it didn’t seem like fjord noticed as he gasped in a shaky breath and opened his eyes, trying to shoot up. caduceus guided him back again, mumbling nonsense while his brain caught up with everything that had happened.

“hey, deucey.” fjord sighed, letting caduceus shield the back of his head from the deck of the ship below them. he closed his eyes again, and caduceus felt a strange stab of fear, an impulse to shake him to attention, which he ignored.

“let’s get you out of the rain.” he said instead, letting fjord lay for a moment more before helping him ease his way into sitting up. jester had brought back orly by this time and was anxiously looking between the two recently-dead.

“i’m alright, jester.” fjord assured her, and caduceus looked over in time to see orly nodding the same sentiment to marius, who was helping him up.

jester looked distraught anyways as she flitted over to them. “how do we know it’s over? we can’t just go back to sleep.”

caduceus looked to fjord, who looked even more exhausted than he had just a moment ago. “i… don’t know.”

“let’s get back inside.” beau said, offering fjord her hand. together she and caduceus lifted him to his feet, and as a group they made their way to the crews’ quarters.

“i think we ought to go to the captain’s quarters.” caleb said, his voice rough. “i… do not feel it would be wise to split up, for now.”

everyone nodded their agreement and they squeezed themselves into the room, where caleb immediately took to setting out alarm.

“i can go get a bed for orly.” yasha said, and jester immediately stood as well. “we’ll drag it in here.”

caduceus settled fjord on the edge of the bed as he said, “orly can have this one. i’ll take the other.”

he could read the discomfort through the exhaustion on fjord’s face, so he stood him back up and said gently, “alright, we’ll take it easy in the meantime.”

he practically held fjord up until yasha and jester easily lifted the bed into the room, and adjusted everything to fit.

jester helped him set fjord down as beau and yasha helped orly.

caduceus moved to give fjord space, but found himself trapped by fjord’s hand in his.

interesting.

fjord released his hand. “i- sorry, i didn’t know i was still-”

“it’s fine. not like there’s much room anywhere else.” caduceus reasoned, staying where he was.

they both ignored how fjord’s face darkened in shade, just slightly.

everyone came and sat with fjord for a while, cycling through to sit wherever the bed was empty, until one by one they all settled back down, anxiously, agreeing that caduceus would take first watch.

the silence stretched. caduceus noticed that fjord wasn’t snoring, but politely ignored it until fjord finally reached out and took caduceus’s hand again. he breathed, so quietly it was barely audible, “hey.”

“you should try and rest up.” caduceus murmured back, leaning in just slightly to direct the sound at fjord laying on the bed.

“can’t.” fjord said simply. “too much.”

he knew, of course. “i’m here.” caduceus soothed, too tired to get past the basics of that to spin it into some poetic metaphor. “i’ll be here.” he squeezed fjord’s hand reassuringly.

fjord let out a strangled little sigh. “i know you are, i just…”

caduceus looked down at fjord to gauge his expression, and found it so pinched in stress that it hurt to look at. he wanted to fix it- to make it better. instead, though, all he could do was say, “i know.”

fjord released his hand again, absently resting it where blood stained his nightshirt.

it was a split-second decision. he reached out and slowly, gently threaded his fingers into fjord’s blood-flecked hair.

fjord froze up for only a moment, and then almost seemed to melt back onto the pillow below him as caduceus’s hand swept through his hair, slowing occasionally to pick out specks of dirt or blood or whatever else and flick it away where it wouldn’t hit anyone who was on the ground.

eventually, fjord did fall asleep, but caduceus didn’t move his hand away. he was starting to wonder how exactly he should get up to wake caleb for watch without waking fjord when, in his mind, he heard a voice.

caleb whispered into a wire from across the room, leaned up against beau with veth resting between them. “i can go ahead and start my watch, if you would like to sleep.”

caduceus smiled over at him and whispered back, “thank you.”


End file.
